笑いたい人へ、お笑い満載!
会社で回ってきました。。「世界で一番短いおとぎ話」昔、ある男の人が女の子に「結婚して下さい」とプロポーズをしました。女の子は「ノー」と答え、いつまでも幸せに暮らしました ― 買い物したり、ダンスしたり、キャンプに行ったり、マーティーニを飲み、いつも綺麗な家に住み、料理もしないで、好きな事をして、喧嘩もせず、太らず、旅行もし、沢山の恋人もいて、お金も貯めず、いつでも自分の為だけの熱いお湯がでて、映画を見て、スポーツは見ず、オシリが見えるやっかいなレースの下着も着ず、高い自尊心も持ち、泣かず、叫ばず、ジャージー着ててもかっこよく、いつも楽しく過ごしました。 おしまい。Subject: "THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE!"Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, 'Will you marry me?' The girl said:'NO!' And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her butt, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time. The Endここからは英語だけだけど。。。「Polish ポーランド人の離婚」これ最高!Polish divorceA Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the Circumstances, and asked him the following questions: L: Have you any grounds? P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? P: It made of concrete. L: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge? P: No, we have carport, and not need one. L: I mean. What are your relations like? P: All my relations still in Poland L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage? P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player. L: Does your wife beat you up? P: No, I always up before her. L: Is your wife a nagger? P: No, she white. L: Why do you want this divorce? P: She going to kill me. L: What makes you think that? P: I got proof. L: What kind of proof? P: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:"Polish Remover"子供の考える事。これも最高!kids think quick TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America .MARIA : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?CLASS : Maria! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank? FRANK : Because of the sign. TEACHER : What sign? FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?" GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER : No, that's wrong GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD : H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER : What are you talking about? DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty? GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I." MILLIE : I is... TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am." MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time." ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand. ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!; __________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD : A teacher.