自分探し+オーストラリア移住計画！

I arrived in Tasmania on 12th of this month...I was gonna
stay with the Tasmanian guy at that night but the host
(his dad) had to pick up one of his friends at the airport
on the same day as I arrived in Tasmania, so fortunately,
I got a lift to the WWOOFing place...well, actually, I wanted
to stay with him, but he said I should go with his dad...
so, I couldn't say anything. But he offered me an overnight
trip in Tasmania before X'mas...I thought he might have
changed his mind...BUT...it didn't really happen...that's
a bit shame. But I think he is still happy with being with
me for a while, which is good enough...well, not enough
but it's much better than being hated...haha. He is a very
strange guy...he doesn't wanna be with someone for long...
he wants to be by himself all the time, well not all the
time, but most of the time. He says being with someone
for one day or two days will be enough for him...But of
course he sometimes feels lonely, and I'm lonely, too.
So, that makes us together but he says we shouldn't
get attatched too much because we know we have to
say good-bye someday and it will be very difficult if
we are very attatched... I know, but...but...I still feel like
being with him. But I have to try not to annoy him, too.
Well, I'd been expecting him to change his mind to some
extent, but now I know he would never change his mind,
so I won't miss him as much as before. Well...he really
confuses me...like, after these conversation, he still
offers me another trip before I leave Tasmania again.
I can't understand...he likes me but he doesn't love me,
And he gave me some X'mas presents too...even though
he has to save his money...it's very difficult to understand
him. Probably he likes being with me (not for long) but
he doesn't want me to be his girlfriend. And he says he
offers another trip because I should see lots of things
in Tasmania. (I'm usually not like a tourist, and I just do
WWOOFing. So, I don't really look around the tourist
places.) I don't know...I don't understand why he can
be so kind to me. Well, even during the trip, he still
sometimes wants to be by himself, though. Anyway,
I really have to give up him and look at another world.
It's very difficult for me now...but I have to. Oh, actually,
I'm thinking of immigrate to Australia someday. Then
I have to get a job here though. And also diploma is
one of the important things for immigration, but I didn't
finish my university and I didn't get the diploma, so it
must make difficult for me to immigrate a little bit...
but I will try!! Never give up!!