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2021.01.23
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カテゴリ:カテゴリ未分類

man and woman sitting and facing near concrete fence during golden hour

Vicky met Stan, through Loveawake.com and has been seeing him for over six weeks. 

Stan is fine looking, age appropriate, in good shape, a former LAPD officer and very responsible. He is a complete gentleman, who’s financially secure and treats Vicky well.  They share important common values like religion and politics. 
 
It’s a tender relationship.  Stan always gives Vicky a hug and a peck on the cheek after every date.  There is no pressure to have sex … which is great for Vicky since she wants to have a serious commitment first.
 
Stan owns a large, beautiful home in the wine country … about an hour away from Vicky.  After a wine tasting, he invited her to stay overnight in a separate wing of his house because he didn’t want her to drive home. 
 
Stan is considerate.  Vicky loves the way he treats her and the lifestyle he affords.  In eight years of dating, Vicky hasn’t met anyone as nice and considerate with so many things in common as Stan.
 
He seems like the perfect package except for one thing …  Vicky doesn’t feel physically attracted to Stan.
 
Hmmm.  So what should Vicky do?
 
What would you do if you met a man who was everything you wanted on paper, yet your body didn’t want him?
 
Here are 3 choices:

1.   Deal With It

A man like Stan doesn’t come along every day.  Men like Stan are hard to find and are one in a million. There are so many goodies that a man like Stan can offer. 
 
So what if there’s no physical chemistry?  If you have compatibility and communicate well … you got two out of three. 
 
Relationships aren’t ALL about sex.  Other things are important, so it’s okay if your body doesn’t like his.
 
There are women who stay in relationships because they value status and security over sexual attraction and chemistry … and it’s fine.  It’s a choice.  You can have a relationship without chemistry, but you gotta deal with it.

2.   End It

If there’s no physical chemistry, it’s a deal breaker.  If your body isn’t compatible with a man who has everything, there’s nothing you can do. 
 
Chemistry is a non-negotiable.  Relationships are too challenging without it.  Chemistry is the indescribable glue that holds you together with your man through the tough times. 
 
Without chemistry … without amazing s.e.x., what’s the point?  It doesn’t matter what a man offers or how well he treats you … it’s irrelevant.
 
If you are repulsed at his touch … If you cringe when he kisses you … it doesn’t matter how much he offers, you can’t afford the price.  Your body doesn’t want him. End it.

3.    Stay As Long As You Can Stay

It’s possible chemistry can grow … especially for a woman. 
 
When we’re receptive, we get really turned on when a man treats us well and we like what he says.
 
When you like a man for who he is and appreciate how he treats you … it’s possible for your body to respond and chemistry to appear.
 
Usually chemistry shows up within the first three dates.  If it hasn’t shown up within a couple of months, it’s probably not gonna happen.
 
That said, there is no right or wrong choice.  There are only consequences. 

A man might have all the qualities you desire but you may not be physically attracted to him.

If your body chooses your man, he may not have status.
 
If you desire status, your body might not want the man.
 
Ultimately, if you listen to your body, it will tell you what to do. 
 
If your body is slower to respond and his touch doesn’t repulse you, but doesn’t really excite you either … then stay.  It’s worth exploring.  In time, your body may surrender and you’ll start to enjoy his touch.  If not, you can then decide later if you want to leave.
 
Stay as long as you can stay.

 







最終更新日  2021.01.23 00:14:37
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