Scores 44936 Votes.
2017.
runtime 1 hour 25 min.
Robbie Amell.
genre Comedy.
McG
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If you're looking for a scare, you won't get that from this movie. What you will get is anticipation and emotion of fear with the wonder of how will this end. The movie is an hour and a half - and once the inciting incident happens and the plot gets going - the tension and pace does not let up. This is definitely a movie that you can watch more than once and still be entertained.
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These "Netflix Originals" are all the most garbage films I have ever seen. I wanted to like this. I wanted to like Death, etc. Netflix, you put no soul into your films. This is just blind, dumb entertainment for some; and complete trash to most.
I was expecting cheesy. but I was not expecting Troll 2 spliced with Giant Spider Invasion type of cheese.
Granted, I did see the trailer ahead of did spoil the entire thing. I was hoping there would be more to was not.
Bad. Real bad. OoooWeeee. Awful. Netflix, I want my schmeckles back.
I hate that this movie exists.
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Netflix is a very different medium than that which the average film is displayed. Most films have historically been made with the assumption that they will be viewed on the big screen. Now, with the fate of the multiplex looking uncertain - is it going to go the way of TV. it remains to be seen how streaming services will change the cinematic landscape.
You see, even if you are bored watching a movie in a theatre, it's kind of hard to do anything else. Obnoxious people might start a conversation with the people next to them, but I believe that is still frowned upon. I guess you could start texting someone, or play a game on your phone, but that's a relatively small screen competing with the much bigger one you've been sat in front of.
Netflix, however, is made to be watched in the comfort of your own home. For many viewers, it's just another window open on their PC while they do something else.
If you have read this far, you might be wondering what this has to do with "The Babysitter" the latest tack-fest from music video brat McG. The answer is that "The Babysitter" seems to have been deliberately made for that "seven windows open at a time in Chrome while I text on my iPhone" crowd. It just keeps pulling out attention-getting tricks like the words "WHAT THE FUCK" printed large on the screen after something surprising just happened. There's a scene of the hero disco dancing with his sexy babysitter where you're wondering if he's supposed to be a professional dancer, and if you're supposed to think their routine was choreographed, and you're wondering if the average house could be made over to look like an '80s nightclub so quickly. Then we see the hero and his babysitter sitting outside watching the movie "Billy Jack" projected pristinely onto his shed wall, while they quote lines verbatim and act out scenes. There are scenes in fast forward. Scenes in slow motion. Scenes in regular motion in the foreground, and slow motion in the background. Some of this is pretty cool to look at. Most of it is annoying, like McG is trying so hard to keep you from getting distracted that he is the one distracting you instead.
Describing this to you, I'm starting to doubt myself. Is "The Babysitter" trying to keep our attention so we don't minimize its window and do something else, or is it trying to keep us off guard so we don't question the ridiculous things we're seeing?
I haven't even gotten to the plot yet. Or the violence.
Cole is the typical nerdy picked on boy who's also a coward. He does have a couple of things going for him, though: he has a close friend who is a girl who is, at least, his equal in terms of intelligence. The aforementioned slow-mo-in-the-background scene happens when he and the girl are sitting up front on the school bus and the unruly mutants (his classmates) tear themselves to pieces behind them.
This is a great moment, perfectly capturing the disconnect of that kind of student with his fellows, and the fact that - lucky, lucky, lucky him - he gets to share that disconnect with someone else.
I wish it had been put to the use of a better movie.
The wimpy kid - yes, this is basically "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Horror Version" has a babysitter who isn't just his intellectual equal: she surpasses him. She's like him, but better. She's also beautiful.
I have a feeling that Samara Weaving is going to be a name you hear a lot. That other blonde babe from "Home and Away" Isabel Lucas, also went to Hollywood a while ago, but didn't make much of a splash. She doesn't have the talent of Weaving, I guess. Nor does she have the eyes. Samara Weaving's eyes are extraordinary. With that forceful gaze that could convey anything from "isn't this fun. to "I'm going to gut you like a fish" they are unforgettable, and a hell of a weapon for an actor.
You probably already know what the "plot" is about, but I'll break it down anyway: the wimpy kid's better-than-perfect babysitter is actually drugging him with alcohol each night and taking his blood to use in a demonic ceremony, the details of which are barely even hinted at.
The kid tricks his sitter into thinking she's drugged him and sneaks out to watch her play a game of spin-the-bottle which features a girl-on-girl kiss scene that was presumably done to upstage "Cruel Intentions. I may be in the minority. but I don't find girls making out sexy and I had to look away during this scene. There, I said it.
Anyway, the game ends with the lone nerd getting stabbed through the skull with two knives at once. This establishes a principle that the movie will subsequently obey - the characters' bodies are apparently much softer and more vulnerable than those of actual people, and pop like water balloons filled with blood - except, of course, for that of the hero, who can survive driving a car at top speed into a house without any apparent injury.
If you find yourself wondering as you're watching this how the babysitter intends to 1. dispose of the body before the wimpy kid's parents come home and 2. clean up the copious blood, which is now all over the fluffy white rug the evil gang is sitting on, this won't be the only head-scratcher the movie throws at you.
Then the movie turns into your typical cat-and-mouse game that we've all seen a million times before.
The strange thing is that the movie's comedy comes up here and there as though they had to throw in a joke every fifteen or so minutes. A bad guy will stop chasing the kid and they'll start doing a lame comedy routine. I didn't think the movie was ever funny, and it's certainly never scary. Watching it begins to feel like rolling a die: sometimes you get comedy and sometimes you get horror. It's like the movie doesn't know it's supposed to be both at once.
I will say, however, that I liked a line where the girl-next-door tells the wimpy kid a fact, and he asks her if she learnt it in class. She responds "No, nobody learnt anything in class, I got it off the internet.
THAT's the future.
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Awful, Awful, Awful, This acting is truly dreadful the story is even worse. Bella Thorn is just embarrassing, Samara Weaving is some sort of poor mans Margot Robbie. Do not bother with this crap. How the hell it has a 6.6 rating is beyond me, its a 2 max. There are so many better movies of this type around so why make this poor copy.
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