Potato☆Momの英語ノート

先日の日記でお話しましたLingQの英検グループのために、
２００語程度で英作文を書きました。

相変わらず下手ですが、いろいろ勉強になりますね。
書くことで、あいまいだった表現が自分のものになるように感じました。

Should the Government raise tax on tobacco in order to prevent and reduce smoking？

No, I don’t think so.
First, I strongly believe that we should separate the issue as two distinct ideas, continuing to smoke and raising taxes. These two problems are two distinctly different ideas. Whether or not to continue smoking is a personal decision, and each of us should control our life so that we won’t have any serious disease and keep ourselves healthy.
Even with a higher tobacco tax, some heavy smokers will continue smoking even if they have to pay a great amount of money. Raising the tax on tobacco will never work for reducing the smoking rate and keeping people healthy.
If you won't stop people from smoking, it's important for them to know how seriously smoking affects people's health. As a better solution, we should provide people with enough education on smoking. People need to have a strong will not to smoke, or to stop smoking. As all of us already know, smoking is one of the main causes of cancer. This fact has been clarified by several studies in the realm of science.

In this way I strongly insist that we should not connect the personal smoking habit with the government issue.
Introducing a higher tax on tobacco will not be effective for stopping people from smoking.
In order to gain more income, the Japanese government should discuss various possibilities such as consumption tax or graduated taxation based on annual income, not restricted only to tobacco tax.

赤で書いてある部分が、表現が適切でないと直されたり、補われたりした部分です。＾＾

私の場合、直していただいたミスの分析をみますと、ミスのうち、natural usageでないという部分が３７％、冠詞の間違いが２１％、語の選択が２０％、前置詞５％となっていました。

もっと多くの記事に目を通し、表現に習熟することが必要だと痛感しています。